a different air.

So is married life really all that different? Yes and no. In ways you wouldn’t imagine, it presents itself, but for the most part, I’m still sharing my life with my best friend, kissing when we bump into eachother in our tiny kitchen and sneaking glances at eachother across the living room. I felt it yesterday when we were eating dinner, there was this golden light everywhere and his eyes were bright green, brighter than I’ve ever seen. We were laughing about getting into trouble in the past and he stops to tell me I look beautiful. And it wasn’t necessarily the compliment that struck me, but the stare that radiated at me from across the eaten landscape of veggie tacos and black grapes. It’s threaded in the smallest notions like kissing eyelids before leaving for work or that nook between your head and shoulder, lightly caressed before falling asleep. Interlocking fingers awkwardly at the grocery store and constant teasing, laughing, pushing eachother around. A warm sort of reminder of our promise. I know it won’t always be these lovely moments. That there will definitely be sour ones too. But that just adds to the appeal. We are experiencing together. And it’s now a “life” instead of two lives. 

Obviously I can’t explain how it’s really different. I imagine it’s a personal thing for everyone.

Meanwhile, I’m almost 32 weeks along and getting more anxious than ever. Scared about the pain, but eager to meet my son and experience his life. Sleep is more difficult than ever and I’m growing rapidly, the babe gaining a half a pound a week or so. It’s insanely beautiful and frightening all the same. Two months to go, essentially.